Whacked out

Everything goes perfectly well and suddenly everything comes crashing down.
Someone says "I don't want to be with you" and you feel like dying inside.
You go like "Oh my gosh! What did I do wrong?" and everything gets worse
That person rejects you so much than makes you feel that everything is wrong... so wrong that is not fixable, like no matter what you do, he will still not want to be with you...

You cannot imagine how awful was that to feel. I felt broken, so broken, like no matter what I do, I will always be imperfect, I will always be wrong
And it has been really really hard to stay strong... stay positive
It's really hard to realize that you are not perfect because when you are rejected that much, you feel that pressure harder than ever, because nobody wants to feel rejected or isolated, or lonely. We all want to be loved, and that's why we try to be perfect
We try to have the best hair, the winning smile, the best manners, the best grades, the best friends, family and body because we need to be approved... and when the one person you love the most doesn't even want you to try to be good, because he has no hope on you... you feel broken... you feel wrong... you feel sick, like Life is fighting with you and you are losing the game, because you are not even close to be good enough

And every day is different: sometimes is the best day ever, and the next day you feel more depressed than ever... You had been whacked out